Well hello there this is strange for me to do something like this and honestly i feel a little lady like doing so, but my sister just started up a page and its helping her cope with this crappy thing called life so i thought I'd make one myself. So here we go. I'm a twenty year old guy that is soon to be the big 21. Huge step in your life apparently. I am from the wonderful place of Spokane WA where I'll always call home, but as of now im living in lovely Salt Lake. I didn't exactly grow up the normal way in my mind. I found my one true love when i was 4 years old, hockey. I lived, breathed, dreamed hockey everyday of my life.And i was good at it. Like way good. when i was about to graduate I was looking around at my friends and hearing about the next year at college and I was jealous. I wasn't going to school yet i was going to play a very high level of hockey. I began to relize I didnt want to go. Or so i thought. The last day before i was going to leave to play hockey I decided i was bored with my life so i quit and went to school. The grand BYU provo and i loved it i wasnt exactly the party central place but I had awesome friends. Deep down though the seed of sadness had sprouted. I had no idea what depression was or what was wrong with me so i decided to turn to the one thing that took my mind off how just shitty i felt, Pot. I turned to the drug very fast because i loved excaping the cold that was in my heart. But with that "happiness" came the worst thing ever, I flunked out of school very, very quickly. So my pissed off parents shipped my ass back home thinking that being back home would pick my spirits up and shake me out of the dumb stuff I had been doing, I even got the great honor of playing hockey for my old team again. For two weeks. Then the old habits of smoking came back to bite me in the ass. I got caught and kicked to the curb. think my dad was proud of me? yea totally..... NOT! My mom on the other hand started to see something in the way i was acting and took me to the good old Doc. And guess what, I had depression. what is that??? Well from what i learned really quickly was it was an unbalance in the chemicals in your brain. I was tired, lazy, getting fat, not happy, and did i say fat? Well i did, very fat. So they put me on pills, the only pill I was comfortable taking was skittles AKA advil. So that was a very hard for me to get going on. I decided I was tired of the dumb pills and went back to the thing i did like, pot. I'm not happy ever, I havent been for about two years now, but you have to put on the happy smile for all the folks out there. That is what I do, all day everyday and it was tiring. This page isn't for me to come on and cry to anyone that is crazy enough to read it well actually yes it is, I'm going to bitch and moan all I want and maybe by doing so I can find the spark in my life again. So any that want to read it, do it please and maybe through this we can help each other. I hope to write on hear when I'm about to freak out and kill something.
so for now, bye
